Link's Vacation
by KazumiZ
Summary: Link thought he was going on a regular vacation. But he was very wrong! Link goes on a boat trip with Zelda, Malon, Saria, Ruto, Ilia and Midna. Chaos ensues! First fic so please R&R. CHAPTER 9 IS IN THE HOOOOUUUUSSSSSEEEEE! HUZZAHS ALL AROUND!
1. Chapter 1

**Well this is my first story! And here is chapter one! Now this is most obviously AU sorta.**

**It does infact take place after OoT/MM a bit. But for the most its AU. Ummm also this story**

**does not really have any pairings but I may or may not add one. But for the most part**

**its just a bunch of girls going after Link!!! Evil is it not? Now to plant two hundred trees**

**in Animal Crossing! See ya at the bottom! Oh also I know the plot does not make much **

**sense but its not supposed to because its going to be funny! ****I hope.......**

**DISCLIAMER:**** I do not own Legend of Zelda in any way shape or form!**

**Chapter One**

"Do we need to go Link!?" The little blue orb of light flying around Link's head said.

"Yes Navi." Link said obviously very annoyed.

"It will be fun and Tatl is also coming." Link said.

"Awesome!" Navi said as she flew off.

Link was going on a one year boat trip with Zelda for saving the world and things like that.

Everyone always said Link was way to humble about it but he didn't think so. Zelda also

said she was going to invite some friends. That worried him for some reason.

Navi flew back into his chambers in Gerudo fortress. He had moved there and became second in

comand next to Nabooru. And no he didn't move there because of all the girls he just really liked it

there.

"Hey Listen!" Navi screamed into Links ear as loud as possible.

"Whay Navi?"

"Isn't it time to go to the castle now?"

"Hmmmmm yes it is..... Can you go get Tatl for me?"

"Yes of course!" Tatl was Navi's best friend and she was very happy to have some company on the trip.

Link grabed his bag and stepped out into the hall.

Just then Nabooru came running down the hall chasing after a cat. "Give me the remote!" "Woopie Goldberg is on t.v.!"

She ran past Link at an alarming pace. "Bye Nabooru!" Link said as she turned the corner.

Two flying orbs zoomed up to Link. "We are ready to go Link!" They said at the same time.

"Ok ok ok well go now."

The trio walked outside and past a billboard saying "Uber wrestling every night at 7:00!" "Featuring

Woopie Goldberg v.s. Chuck Norris this saturday!"

"Damn!" "We're going to miss Woopie v.s. Chuck on saturday!"

".........."

"Never mind......."

"Why did Nabooru put up all those bilboards anyway?" Tatl asked.

"I don't know......." Link said.

"Hey Navi, Tatl can I pick up the Nintendo Power magazine?"

"Why? All thats in that thing is a bunch of pictures of Mario."

Link laughed, "Not this time!" "I'm in it!"

"Your in it!?" Navi asked skeptically.

"Yup!"

"What did you do?" Tatl asked.

"Well I reviewed the Super Mario Bros. movie."

"Wasn't that Adamwestslapdog?" Navi asked.

"_I_ was in the background il have you know!" Link yelled.

"Whatever." Tatl said under her breath.

Navi laughed. "We're at the entrance now Link!" "Were you day dreaming again?"

"Oh oh ya." Link said as he snapped back into reallity. "I will call Epona with my new uber cool

Epona Attracter 3000!"

"Your what!? Navi asked.

"I got it from that woman in Thunder Bluff."

"From where!?"

"Thunder Bluff!" "It's in northern Mulgore!"

"I give up!" Navi shouted.

Link laughed, "Another one for the Linkster!"

"....................."

Epona came running over at an insane speed. " DUCK IN COVER!" Link shouted at the top of his

lungs as he jumped behind a rock.

Epona came skidding to a halt.

"Lets go already!" Link said as he hopped on Epona.

"Ok!" Navi and Tatl yelled as they flew under his hat.

WOBUFFET!!!!!!!! OoOoOoOoOoOo

"WHY! WHY!" "Why did you need to invite Malon, Saria, Ruto, Ilia and Minda!?" Link yelled when

he arrived at the castle.

"I told you I was going to bring friends!" Zelda said.

Just then all the girls including Zelda ran towards Link to glomp him.

"Cheese It!" Link yelled as he turned around and ran.

Minda tackled Link to the ground and began kissing him. All the other girls soon followed suit.

"Ack! Can't........ breath....... at all!" Link gasped from under the pile.

They instantly jumped off. "Sorry Link." Malon said. "We haven't seen you in a while." Ilia added.

"Well we should get into the thingy now." Zelda said.

"Thingy?" Asked Link

Zelda laughed, "I can't remember what its called....." She said quietly.

"..............."

"Lets just get in!" Saria yelled.

The group climbed into the carriage and sat down. It began moving.

"So did you catch that episode of Desperate Housewives last night?"

"Yes."

"Yup."

"Mhmm."

"So did I."

"What is Desperate Housewives?" Saria asked.

Everyone ignored her.

"............."

"So."

"Hmmmm......."

"I'm bored!" Zelda said.

"Well tell us something!" Link said.

"I got a copy of Halo 3 yesterday." Zelda stated.

"But that game is like 6094235908459860983478609819850987875976234598687548969

8445.9876345987509750487309872457865800979867340576098 moons old! Malon said shocked.

"How did you know that Malon!?" Link asked.

"I like games......." Malon said quietly.

Ruto sighed," Then why did you get it so late?" Ruto said disinterested.

"I pre-orderd it and it came yesterday." Zelda said.

"Doesn't that beat the purpose then.....?" Link asked.

"Why did you get it in the first place?" Ruto asked.

"I played a major roll in it!" Zelda said.

"What! Who did you play!?" Malon asked sceptically.

"I played Master Chief!" "You must of wondered who was under the helmet!"

"...................."

"It was you!?" Link yelled.

"Never mind........." Zelda said awkwardly.

"So what did you bring with you Link?" Ilia asked because she hasen't talked a lot yet.

"Why do you care?"

"Meh......."

"Well I brought: a strobe light to blind you, a blind fold for when you try to jump me, my pokedex,

874534 novelty pokemon wall calenders, my pink night tunic, Munchlax plushy and this i-pod thing.

"Whats an i-pod?" Zelda asked.

"I don't know." "I think its some kind of sample cat food."

"Hmmmmm"

"I got it in the mail and the letter said I won a contest." "But I don't believe them."

"But what are you going to do with sample cat food?" Minda asked concerned.

"Meh I will feed it to Navi I think."

**Hmmm......... Well what did you think of the first chapter of my first story? I will have**

**next chapter up by saturday if I get enough reviews.**

**SO PLEASE REVIEW! Because I want to see if I suck or not.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Kay I lied....... But thats not the point! The point is is that I enjoy writing it even if it sucks!**

**BUT....... thank ye to PrincessStarberry for reveiwing! Im glad you think im hilarious and**

**now I know how good it feels to get a reveiw! Anyway here is chappie two (huzza!....)**

**so enjoy and see ya at the bottom. **_**I **_**need to go find out who stole my OoT manga!**

**Grrrrrrrrr............**

**DISCLIAMER:**** I do not own The Legend of Zelda or any of the other licensed t.v./video game/ movie franchises in anyway shape or form!=/ (this gets annoying fast......)**

**CHAPTER TWO!!!!**** (......)**

"Snore snore snore snore" Zelda snored. (...wtf....)

"Who the hell says snore when they sleep!?" Link asked.

Everyone laughed. Minda whisperd, "Shhhhhhh!" "She is sleeping!"

CRACK! A violent crack cracked the carriage. (.... to many cracks....)

Everyone lurched forward and banged their teeth on the teeth height metal bar infrontthem.

"OH DEAR GODDESSES THE PAIN!" Screamed Link.

Everyone flailed on the floor holding there teeth in pain.

After everyone got up they stepped outside to see..... pirates!!! (on land!:D)

Minda walked forward to the tallest one, "What the hell are you doing!?"

"Ummmm...... Welll........ Were robbing you i guess...."

"Maybe you want to speak with our leader, eh?" He asked.

"Sure I guess..." Ilia answered.

"Kay!" The pirate said.

A very small man walked over and looked Minda strait in the eye.

"My name is Small French Man!"

"Can I call you Small French Guy?" She asked.

"NO! But you may call me SFM!" He yelled.

"Kay then SFM, why are you robbing us?"

"Well because we wnat your money of course!" He said.

"We don't have any _money _we have _rupees_!" Zelda cut in.

"Oh............." (............)

"Well then we should be going now!" "Sorry to bother ye!" He said.

"But were will you go now?" Link asked conerned.

SFM sighed, "Well I think I will go vist my sister Small French Xena, or SFX!"

"..............."

"She invented the SFX sound thingy!" He replied.

"Bye then." Malon said as they got back on there horses and rode off.

"That was awkward......." Saria said.

"The carriage driver is unconscious so I guess we will have to drive..." Zelda said absentmindedly.

"I'l drive!" Ruto screamed.

Everyone got in the carriage and Ruto drove it.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOo Two Hours Later...

Ruto yelled, "Hey can we stop at that convenience store?"

"Meh..... Only if they have curly straws." Ilia replied.

Ruto pulled into the parking spot next to the batmobile and a mammoth.

Everyone walked into the store.

"So its called the Kwicky-Mart, eh?" Link asked.

"Hello I am Apoo, welcome to the Kwicky-Mart!"

"..................."

"I'm going to leave now, very fast!" Link said as he turned around and ran followed by everyone else.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOo

"I'm bored!" Zelda said for the 345654456th time.

"Well then do something!" Ruto screamed.

"LETS GLOMP LINK!" Zelda screamed at the top of her lungs.

She dove on him and began kissing him to death. Everyone else did the same.

Link had long since learned to endure it.

We have arrived in Great Bay!" Ilia yelled.

"Finnaly!" Link gasped from under the pile.

Everyone ran down to the pier and the boat with their luggage.

"Were going on a one year trip in that!?" Ruto yelled.

The boat was medium sized with a deck and a passage down to the bridge and sleeping quarters.

"Well lets get on and get a move on!" Malon said. (..........)

The party climbed onto the boat and went down into the bridge.

"So who drives this thing?" Zelda asked.

Link thought a moment, "I don't know........"

Just then Telma ran in in a sailors uniform a few sizes to small.

"Damn....." Link said.

"HIYA!" She yelled.

"I will be your captin for this trip, and here is my assistant Ashei!"

Ashei ran in and tripped crashing into a randomly placed statue of Aristotle.

"Hey there!" She said joyfully.

"We will be in the crew's quarters if you need us and the boat will set sail immediately." She said as she left.

"................."

"Ok ok ok I know your going to ask so to prevent a fight i've got a plan" Link said.

"Since there aren't enough beds for all of us one of you will get to sleep with me!"

"I have predetermined the results of a fight."

"Zelda you came in first followed by Minda, Ruto, Malon, Saria and Ilia."

"I have even taken the liberty of marking down the turns on this novelty wall calender."

"..............."

"LETS JUST GLOMP LINK!" Zelda screamed.

Followed by Link being glomped ect. ect. ect. (I'm getting lazy)

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo WOBUFFET!!!

Night came on the boat.

"OOOOOOOOO!!!"

"I get to sleep with Link! I get to sleep with Link!" Zelda yelled.

"I'm not going to bed yet!" "That movie Back to the Future is on t.v.!" Link called.

".................."

Zelda whined, "But Malon is playing Devil Man Cry 4 on the t.v.!"

"She is!?" "I want to play!" Link ran off down the hall.

Zelda sighed.

"I guess i'l check on Ilia and Minda..."

Zelda walked down the hall past Ashei who was trying to get a piece of gum off the ceiling with a lightning rod.

She walked in the door leading to Ilia and Minda's room.

They were hunched down over some statistics and charts lying on a table.

"What are you doing?" Zelda asked.

"We are planning on jumping Link tommorrow." Minda answerd casually.

"Well I get him tonight, you know that right?"

"Yup"

"Of course"

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Saria walked over to Link and Malon who were hunched over controllers staring at the t.v.

"I'm bored."

Link and Malon ignored her.

"I guess i'l go look at my trading card collection."

Saria walked into her room and opened her Super Ultra Uber Deluxe Trading Card Worshiping Shrine 3000 breaf case.

GASP!

There was a Digimon card in her Pokemon card section!

Saria ran out of the room screaming and waving her arms.

Everyone assembled in the living room around Link and Malon for a meeting.

"We have a code orange, a Digimon card is in my pokemon card section!"

"GASP!"

"GASP!"

"OH GODDESSES!"

"WTF!"

"WHAT WILL WE DO!?"

Link and Malon didn't even hear.

"We will need to take immediate action!" Saria yelled.

**Did you like it? What will they do? Will Link and Malon pay attention? Will I continue**

**to ask questions? FIND OUT NEXT TIME ON:**

**TALES OF INTEREST!!! I mean LINK'S VACATION!!!**

**Note: Hello this is Tony Soprano here and I would like to say the princess will have the next**

**chappie out in a day or two!**


	3. Chapter 3

**HELLO! Once again I'm here to write this fic! (Huzza!) I am going to lay out chappie three for you.**

**This chapter will be the final "intro" chapter because after that RANDOMNESS TAKES OVER! (yay.)**

**Thank ye very much to PrincessStarberry and Starlll for reviewing!**

**This time I promise to spell Midna's name right!**

**So now I'l go plant 200 more trees! Thats equal to 400! In your face! (..... hehe)**

**So I'l see you at the bottom! Or maybe sooner!........ (begins evil plotting)**

**DISCLIAMER:**** I do not own The Legend of Zelda or any of the other licensed t.v./ video game/ movie franchises in any way shape or form!=/ (....... grrrrrr) **

**CHAPTER THREE**

"ACK!" Saria screamed.

"Ok ok ok Saria well do something about your card problem." Midna said disinterested.

"What do yo mean! This is an insanely important problem!" Ruto yelled.

"She is very right!" "We need to take action now!" Ashei said.

She ran into a room and came back with some surgery tools.

"Well use these!" She said.

"Wait aren't those the tools from that show House?" Zelda asked.

"I may have stolen them....." Telma cut in.

"................."

Midna walked over to Saria's Trading Card Worshiping Shrine 3000 breaf case.

She picked it up and threw it into a randomly placed Aztec sacrificial fire.

"NOOOOO!" Saria yelled as she jumped at it in slow motion.

Saria went right into the fire never to be seen again. (hehehe..... I'l bring her back don't worry.....)

".........."

"What happend to Saria?" Ilia asked.

"I think we sacrificed her......." Midna answerd.

"Meh...... I guess we should find out what to do about Link and Malon..." Zelda said.

"Ya....... They've been playing that game forever without moving."

Link and Malon were still playing Devil Man Cry 4.

Zelda thought aloud, "I'l try glomping Link."

Zelda carried out her thoughts and still Link didn't move a muscle.

"Grrrrrrrrrrrrr" She grrrrrrrrrrrred. (....wtf....)

"I'l try The Hammer of Dawn!" Ilia said joyfully.

"Does anyone have The Hammer of Dawn?" She asked.

"....... I do......." Telma said reluctantly.

"How did you get The Hammer of Dawn!?" Asked Zelda.

".......I stole it..........." Telma whispered.

"............"

"Whatever....." Ilia said as she grabed it from Telma.

"Wait we need a hole in the roof for the sunlight and the beam to come through!" Zelda yelled.

"I'm on it" Midna said as she grabed a rocket launcher from a rack.

BAM!!! The smoke cleared and a hole shaped like Chuck Norris. (.......)

Midna yelled, "What the hell!" "I'm tossing this out now!"

She threw it out the window.

"NOW TO USE THE HAMMER OF DAWN!!!" Ilia yelled.

She powered it up and a huge beam of light blasted into the ship and fried Link and Malon to a crisp.

"......Ow....." Link and Malon both said.

"Finnaly!" Zelda yelled.

"OH MY HEAD!" Malon yelled.

".........."

Zelda pointed to something, "Hey look a glass model of a kitten!"

" A what!?"

"LETS RUB IT!" Zelda screamed as she ran over, picked up the glass kitten and rubbed it.

A bright light flashed in the room and a teenager in a pink tunic, carrying tons of weapons appeared in the room floating on a purple cloud.

"IS THAT A GENIE!?" Zelda screamed.

"Hey don't I get to speak first!?" He asked.

"............"

"Um........ nevermind....."

"My name is Princess Tamoir or AssassinPrincess but you may just call me Princess."

"............."

"But aren't you a boy?...." Zelda asked.

"Thats not important!" "What is important is that I am the author of this story and you have gotten me out of that damn glass kitten!"

"So........ What your going to give us three wishes?" Ilia asked.

"NO! You would kill us all!" The Princess screamed.

"But I will resurrect Saria I guess."

"Meh...... you can leave her for the rest of the chapter." Ilia said.

"Kay......."

"So Princess Tamoir do you want to do something fun!?" Link asked.

"YES! I have an Idea we can play Truth or Dare!"

"....... Kay..."

"I'l prepare!......"

The Princess laughed like Twinrova and disapeared.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO WOBUFFET!!! (yup!.....)

"Ok were all ready!" Tamoir said.

"Ok lets go then!" Link yelled.

"All right does everyone know how to play?"

Everyone but Malon raised their hands.

"Ok Malon listen up!"

"Someone asks you Truth or Dare and you choose and then you have to do what they say or you loose! Kay!?"

"........."

"Alright then, I'l begin!" Said Tamoir.

"I choose LINK!"

"Damn...."

"Kay Link, truth or dare?"

"....... Um.... Dare!" Link yelled.

"I dare you to glomp Midna!" Tamoir yelled excitedly.

"GASP!"

"Ok I'm ready for this......." Link ran forward and glomped Midna.

Midna screamed with glee.

"Did I tell you I hate you Princess?" Link asked.

"No not yet...." Tamoir responded.

"OK MY TURN!" Link screamed.

" I choose Tamoir!"

"Kay...... I choose Truth!" Tamoir responded.

"Have you ever killed someone?" Link asked.

"YA! I've killed 4308097840964509807359075 last week!" (just kidding!)

"..........."

"MY TURN AGAIN!" Tamoir screamed.

"Zelda, truth or dare?"

"Ummm....... DARE!" Zelda answered.

"I dare you to kiss Midna on the lips!!!" Princess Tamoir fell over and landed in a randomly placed pool of cornstarch!

Zelda freaked out, "Did I tell you I hate you Princess?"

Zelda walked over and kissed Midna on the lips. (where did that come from? meh.....)

"..........."

"Did I tell you I hate you Princess?" Zelda asked.

"Yes, yes you did....."

"........ My turn!" Zelda said.

"I choose LINK!!!" Zelda screamed.

"Damn......" Link swore.

"I choose DARE!" Link yelled.

"I dare you to wear my underwear and go to the crew quarters and jump on Telma and then come back!"

"..........w............t.............f........" Link swore. (...w...t...f...)

Link breathed deeply and said, " Ok i'm ready....."

Zelda removed all of her clothes right then and there.

"OH GODDESSES MY EYES!" Link screamed. (OH GOOD MY EYES!)

"You know..... I'm going to go and use the washroom....." Tamoir said as he backed out of the room.

"WHERE IS MY EYE SOAP!?" Link screamed.

"You didn't bring any." "Don't you remember chapter 1?" Ilia said calmly.

"Well here is my underwear, you go put it on." Zelda said.

Link grabed Zelda's underwear and crawled out of the room.

He returned only wearing Zelda's underwear.

"Did I tell you I hate you Zelda?"

Link ran into Telma's room, jumped on her and ran back.

"Ok I choose MALON!" Link yelled.

"I CHOOSE TRUTH!" Malon yelled.

"Are you in love with Whoopie Goldberg?" Link asked.

Malon thought a moment then said, "Um no I don't think so...... At least not right now."

"............." (.....wtf....)

"Ok then I choose MIDNA!"

"I choose dare..." Midna replied.

"I dare you to glomp Princess Tamoir!" Malon yelled.

"FINE!" Midna screamed.

"She ran out of the room, glomped Tamoir and came back.

"Wait! Its 7:00 in the morning!" Ilia yelled.

"YES! That means I avoided being jumped by Zelda!" Link yelled happily.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Zelda screamed.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo DA KITTENS!

**Well thats chapter three, did you like it? Now I have something very important to say.**

**I need ideas for the next chapters. I want you readers to tell me what thing you want to happen in the next chapter in your reviews.**

**I will do what you want with my own twist. (hehehehe) So tell me what you want to do and i'l do it!**

**Things like, cameos, contests and thing like that. If your lucky you may even get to cameo in the story!**

**So please review and give me your requests!**

**SEE YOU NEXT TIME ON: TALES OF INTEREST! I mean: LINK'S VACATION!**

**Note: Hiya, This is Queen Lucy of the Battle Pike!**

**The Princess will have the next chapter up in a day or two and don't forget to review!**


	4. Chapter 4

**HELLO! I is very happy to be here. (sorda.....)**

**I wasn't very happy with the previous chapter....it seemed kind of........lame......(Well it did!)**

**SO, I hope that this one will be better.**

**ALSO, Thank ye to Starlll and PrincessStarberry for reviewing. (...thanks...)**

**SO, I will see ya at the bottom.**

**I need to go and hunt that damn yeti! (......stupid allys.......stealing my kills.........grrrrrrrrrr.......)**

**THIS, in bold message was brought to you by:**

**Morning Glory Dew,**

**Runecloth For Guns Society**

**and The Pink Kitten Cafe. (..I suggest the curly fries.....)**

**(Oh and by the way this is the day after the previous chapter.(if you didn't already know that.(wait did I just use those smily face lines inside some other smily face lines? (wtf I did it again!)))) (....wtf....)**

**DISCLIAMER:**** I do not own The Legend Of Zelda or any of the other mentioned t.v./ video game/ movie franchises in any way shape or form!=/ (Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr..... I hate this! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr......)**

**CHAPTER ONE**** (OF DOOM!...)**

"I'm bored" Zelda said.

"Well then do something!" Link yelled. (....is that his new catch phrase?....)

"I want to go to the beach!" Malon whined.

"But we're in the middle of the freaking ocean! The last island is six hours back!" Midna yelled.

"Ya, how would we go to the beach?" Ruto agreed.

"Hey where is the Princess? Shouldn't we resurrect Saria?" Ilia asked.

"Meh.....why?" Link asked.

"Meh.....good point." Ilia agreed.

"Anyway, I want to go to the beach." Malon whined some more.

"DIDN'T YOU HEAR US!? We can't go to the beach! Zelda yelled.

"Or can we?" A voice asked from out of nowhere.

Just then there was a blinding flash of light and Princess Tamoir appeared.

"ACK! Can't you just enter the room like a normal person!? Midna screamed, holding her eyes.

"And resist using a flash bang on you? I think not!"

After everyone got settled down, Malon asked, "So can we go to the beach?"

"Meh...... I suppose..." The Princess responded.

"But how?" Zelda asked.

Princess Tamoir leaned in and whispered, "The Time Warp of course."

"Its just a jump to the left." Tamoir continued.

Everyone looked around, shruged and followed Princess Tamoirs orders.

"Then a step to the right."

"Bring your knees in tight."

"The pelvis thrust..."

Just then there was another blinding light and Princess Tamoir screamed, "LETS DO THE TIME WARP AGAIN!!!"

OoOoOoOoOoOo WOBUFFET!!! (o rly?)

Everyone appeared on a beach with the boat docked in the pier.

"Oh, my head..." Link moaned.

"Ok before we have fun, did anyone see any Quantom Zombies?" Tamoir asked.

"Any what!?" Zelda asked.

"Quantom Zombies, I'm the Junior Vice President of the QZRP or Quantom Zombie Relocation Program." The Princess answerd.

"Um no......." Ilia responded.

"We relocate quantom zombies to there natural habitat." Princess Tamoir went right ahead and answerd the question before it was asked. (why did I write that? Meh......)

"Where is their natural habitat?" Ruto asked, very interested.

"Why the Mushroom Kingdom of course."

"............"

"Oh, my head..." Link moaned again.

"Yup, the time stream will do that to ya!" Tamoir said.

"We could get some Tylenol." Midna suggested.

"Hey ya, there is a convienience store over there where we could get some!" Zelda agreed.

They walked over to the convienience store.

"So, this place is called the Kwicky-Mart, eh?" Link said.

"Seems familiar.." He continued.

Tamoir sighed.

Ruto put her head in her hands.

"Hello, I am Apoo, welcome to the Kwicky-Mart!"

Link turned around and ran.

"Don't you have a headache Link?" Zelda called.

"Meh......" The Princess mehed. (.....wtf......mehed......cool.....)

Everyone followed Link back outside.

"Did you realise we haven't glomped Link in one and a half chapters!?" Midna said shocked

"Ack!" Zelda screamed.

All the girls glomped Link.

Princess Tamoir sighed.

"I want some ice-cream." Malon blurted out randomly.

"There is an ice-cream man over there" Link said pointing to an ice-cream shack.

Everyone ran over.

"How can I help ya, mon?" He asked.

"Can we get some ice-cream?" Malon asked.

"Sure, mon."

"I want a triple fudge, chuck norris shaped, dipped, french vannila,glompasuaris brand thermos induced ice-cream cone!" Malon yelled.

"......................................." (......................)

"Ummm ok then......" Link said.

"I'l have a ice-cream....." Midna said.

Everyone else accept Princess Tamoir agreed.

"I will have a popcicle!" He said.

"GASP!" Everyone gasped.

"Kay, mon...." He said giving eveyone there stuff.

"Whats your name?" Link asked the ice-cream man.

"My name is Solo, mon." He said.

"Hey i'm off duty now so do ya want to go and look at some of the wildlife around here?" Solo continued.

"Sure I guess." Princess Tamoir said before anyone could do anything.

"Kay then follow me, mon."

Solo lead everyone to a tree where an orange snake was slithering around.

"That there is a Solid Snake." He said.

"Solid.......Snake?"

"Solid Snake?"

"What makes it solid?" Ilia asked.

"Metal Gears of course!" Solo said like it was ultra obvious. ( well it was pretty obvious....)

"............"

"How are Solid Snakes different from regular snakes?" Link asked.

"Ummmmm......well......they have Metal Gears........." Solo responded.

"OHHHHH." Link ohhhhhed. (..wtf..)

"I want to go swimming.." Malon whined.

"STOP WHINING!" Midna screamed.

"Fine, I suppose we can go swimming." Tamoir said.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo WOBUFFET! (OF THE FUTURE!)

After everyone got their swim suits on they went to the water.

"Sure is warm." Ilia comented randomly.

"Hey, look over there!" Link said pointing.

There was a swordfish swimming just under the surface of the water.

"Sure is odd to see one way up here on the surface." Princess Tamoir comented.

"It is." Zelda said.

"Oh, be careful!" Solo said.

He continued, "That swordfish will cut through ya like a hot knife through Martha!"

"Don't you mean butter?" Link asked.

"You don't know Martha." Tamoir added.

"............"

"Nevermind..."

"And over there, is a jellyfish!" Solo said pointing.

"Can I touch it!?" Zelda asked.

"Ummm, Zelda....." To late she touched it.

"ACK! THE PAIN!" She screamed.

"I'l go and take her to the first-aid guy......" Midna said as she dragged Zelda after her.

"........................"

"I'm hungry!" Malon whined.

"Good thing Midna isn't here." Princess Tamoir whispered to Solo.

He laughed.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo THE OCTOROKS ARE COMING! (or are they?)

"Whats for dinner?" Malon asked Solo.

"The Princess is ordering pizza." He answerd well pointing over to Princess Tamoir.

He was talking on a randomly placed pay phone, "Ya, hello? Dominos? Ya kay I want to order three large pepperoni and bacon pizzas, two large cheese pizzas and a side of cheesy bread with eight one litter bottles of pepsi please."

"Would I like to order some novelty plasma rifles? Hmmmmmmmm......" Tamoir thought

He looked down at his belt with all his small weapons. There were two plasma rifles.

"Sure I'l order one for Solo. Kay, Thanks."

"Did you get enough food!?" Ruto asked jokingly.

"No, no I don't think I ordered enough...... Hmmmmmm oh well."

"................." (................)

"Nevermind.."

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo (wait I think I did to many.......)

After dinner everyone was sitting around.

"I want to play a game!" Malon whined.

Link quickly held Midna down.

"I know a game we can play!" Ruto said.

"Elefun!" She continued.

"Ele-what!?" Ilia asked.

"Elefun!" Ruto grabed a box with the Elefun elephant in side.

"I heard that game is defective." Link comented.

"NOPE, not this one!."

"WAIT! WE HAVEN'T GLOMPED LINK IN A LONG TIME!" She screamed shocked.

All the girls glomped Link.

"Should we get back on the boat now?" Princess Tamoir asked.

"I suppose." Link said.

"Hey can I come with you guys!?" Solo asked.

"Meh......sure."

Everyone got back on the boat.

"Well we have six hours of lost time to make up! So lets set sail!" Telma yelled.

"Did you realise we haven't slept in over seventy two hours!?" Link asked.

"Ya, but i'm not tired!" Zelda said.

"Meh......."

"Hey Link, Lets watch the Resident Evil movie trailer!" Malon yelled.

"Resident Evil movie?"

"Evil Resident movie?"

"What makes the residents evil?"

"Whats a movie?"

"............."

"Nevermind.."

"I suppose we should resurrect Saria now, eh?" Tamoir asked.

"Meh........ that movie Back to the Future is on t.v." Link said.

"Kay lets watch." Zelda agreed.

"Will resurrect Saria later." Ruto agreed also.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo WOBUFFET!

**So..... how did you like it? I thought it was much better then chapter three. Anyway, what will happen next? Will they resurrect Saria? Will Solo stay for the rest of the story? (...I want him to stay if thats okay with Starlll..) Will they do something interesting? Will I ask lots of questions at the end of every chapter?**

**Anyway, Starlll, PrincessStarberry, what should we do next? (..I have a couple of ideas if you guys don't have any...) So tell me what you want to do guys..... (..Or anyone else for that matter..) So i'l see you guys soon! Also, don't forget to review.**

**Note: Hey, this is a random psychopathic squirrle here. And the Princess will have the next chapter up in a day or two!:D**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hello! The Princess has returned to write chapter five! (GASP!)**

**So um ya.........**

**Thank ye to Starlll and PrincessStarberry for reviewing as always! (Thanks!)**

**Hmmmmmm yes.....I hope this chapter is funny and interesting!**

**I will see ya at the bottom!**

**I need to go and kill some time! (..I know lets read this story!..)**

**This in bold message was brought to you by:**

**Morning Glory Dew**

**Runecloth For Guns Society**

**The Pink Kitten Cafe**

**Quantum Zombie Relocation Program**

**(Also its the next day again!)**

**DISCLIAMER:**** I do not own The Legend of Zelda or any of the other mentioned t.v./video game/movie franchises in any way shape or form!=/ (Ack!)**

**CHAPTER FIVE! (GASP!)**

"I'm bored." Zelda said.

"Well then do something!" Link yelled. (...it is..)

Everyone was sitting around doing nothing for no reason.

"I haven't eaten or slept in over 96 hours!" Malon whined.

Solo quickly tackled Midna to the ground and shoved some ice-cream in her mouth.

"Malon should get a stupid hobby like PrincessStarberry suggested." Princess Tamoir stated.

"How did she tell you that!?" Ilia asked.

"This magical thing called e-mail!" Tamoir answerd.

"............"

"I know! My hobby can be whining!" Malon yelled triumphantly.

"NO!" Solo yelled.

"Your hobby could be eating ice-cream." Ruto suggested.

Solo handed Malon some ice-cream.

"Mhmmmmmm! Good idea!" Malon said as she was eating ice-cream.

"I suppose we should ressurect Saria now, eh?" Ilia said.

"I guess.." The Princess whispered.

He cast a resurrection spell and Saria randomly spawned on top of Zelda.

"You revitalized my body and my mind!" Saria yelled randomly.

"Why did Saria spawn on me!?" Zelda asked after throwing Saria off her.

"Meh..... I thought it would be funny..." Princess Tamoir responded.

Zelda tackled Princess Tamoir to the ground and began biting his arm.

"PIKA!" Tamoir screamed.

A lighting bolt blasted through the ceiling and zapped Zelda.

"Oh.....my head...." Zelda moaned.

"Stay off me!" He yelled as he brushed himself off.

"I'm hung-" Malon was about to whine but Solo stuffed some ice-cream in her mouth.

"Has anyone noticed that I don't talk much?" Saria asked.

"It may just be the fact that you were dead for two and a half chapters." Midna answerd.

"What did I miss anyway?" She asked.

"We went to the beach, met Solo, played truth or dare and did the time warp." Link answerd.

"Ohhhhhh....."

"Ya know, I am pretty hungery." Tamoir said.

"Well there is a town up ahead on an island." Telma called from the other room.

"Wait... How did she hear our conversation!?" Link yelled.

"Didn't you notice that box under your tunic!?" Solo yelled.

Link looked down at a box shaped lump in his tunic.

"Damn! How did the KGB track me all the way out here!" Princess Tamoir screamed.

"............"

"The KGB bugged you with old crappy Soviet technology just to spy on me! I thought I lost them in Pakistan!" Tamoir screamed some more.

"..........."

"How did they find me! I mean, I thought I was safe here on !" He continued.

"..........."

"Just take it out."

"I suppose Link will have to take his tunic off, eh?" Midna said with a smirk.

"Mhmmmmm!" Zelda screamed.

"Get him and rip his tunic off!" Ruto screamed.

"Cheese it!" Link screamed as he turned around and ran.

"GET HIM!" Ilia screamed.

They chased him all around the room knocking everything over.

"Your breaking everything!" The Princess yelled.

Solo grabed Princess Tamoir's pike from his back and threw it infront of Link.

Link tripped and crashed into that randomly placed statue of Aristotle.

"RIP HIS SHIRT OFF! Zelda screamed.

All the girls jumped onto Link and ripped his shirt off.

Princess Tamoir picked up the crappy old Soviet bug and said, "Princess Tamoir ran away to Zelda Dungeon to smuggle Mageroyal!?" (...that will keep them KGB away,eh?)

"Lets go to a resturant." Solo suggested.

"Kay, that sounds like a good idea!" Tamoir agreed.

Princess Tamoir and Solo walked up on deck.

"Hey Telma, are there any islands nearby?" Solo asked.

"Yup, there is an island town up ahead."

Princess Tamoir looked over and three feet from his nose was an island town.

"Oh, right there......"

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo WOBUFFET! (wait I did to many...)

"This place doesn't look good, I mean, it looks like its full of pirates!" Link said.

"What would give you that idea?" Saria asked.

"The fact that its called Pirate Cove..." Link answerd.

"Meh......."

A "pirate" walked by Link and he lashed out and knocked her into the water.

"DIE PIRATE!" He screamed.

"Oy, get off of me you-" To late he killed her.

"Oy, what did you do to my wife!?" Another pirate ran over.

"But your a woman also an- you know, nevermind...." Princess Tamoir said

.Link ran over and was about to kill her but Princess Tamoir used a stasis gun on him.

"Never leave home without one..." He said.

"Mhmmmm, smart man- er....princess...." Solo said awkwardly.

Princess Tamoir shoved a pike up his butt.

"Hehehehehe, didn't hurt...."

"Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr..." Tamoir grrrrrrrrrrrred.

Solo was about to walk on but he tripped over a dead body.

"Hey, is that Ilia's body?" The Princess asked.

"Who killed Ilia!?"

"Meh..... who cares, we need one dead character anyway..." Solo said.

"Kay......."

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo (..its full of KITTENS!..)

"So what do you have to drink?" Ruto asked.

Everyone was sitting around in The Pink Kitten Cafe: Island Branch resturant.

"Oy, we have Red Bull." The waiter said.

"What else?" Ruto asked.

"Red Bull, only Red Bull."

".............."

"What do you have to eat?" She asked.

"Red Bull."

"Ummm...... for dessert?"

"Red Bull."

"What abo-"

"We have Red Bull, only Red Bull, RED BULL!"

"I think you can unstasis Link know..." Solo whispered to Princess Tamoir.

He unstasised Link and he lashed out and killed the waiter.

"Is everyone in this place a woman!?" Saria asked.

"HEY, WE HAVEN'T GLOMPED LINK ALL CHAPTER!" Zelda screamed.

"GASP!"

All of the girls glomped Link ect. ect. ect.

"Lets just leave....." Midna said because she hasn't talked much this chapter.

They walked up to the cashier and Link killed her.

"Ummm....nevermind....."

They walked outside back towards the boat.

Princess Tamoir looked over and saw a sign saying: Pirate's Cove, Population: 4. (..get it they killed four people..)

"Uh....oh......"

"Ummm... lets hurry up..." He said.

Princess Tamoir usherd everyone onto the boat.

"DRIVE TELMA!" He screamed.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo (..now with 60% less fire axes!..)

**SO, how did you like like it!? I thought it was ok. Will they resurrect Ilia? Will I add another fan character? Does PrincessStarberry have a fan character to come repersent her? ( by the way you should read her story Making Up for Lost Time!) Is Saria sexsiest? Will the KGB catch me? (looks over) CRAP! The KGB! I'l see you next time!**

**Note: Hey, this is a random KGB agent. The Princess will have the next chapter up in a day or two if we don't get him!**

**Second Note: This may be random but before the KGB catch me I have to say: You MUST read the story Adventures In Randomness With Zelda And Co! I know this story is old, but it and its authors DeadeyeDave and ~*Misty Dawn*~ Inspired me to be random and that story is awesome so read it! NOW!!!!! READ IT OR I KILL YOU! So ya, please read it!**


	6. Chapter 6

**HELLO, I, The Princess, have returned! (laughs evily)**

**Welcome to chapter six, how may I be of assistance? (..oh wait I can write this chapter!..)**

**Thank ye to Starlll and PrincessStarberry as always! (..thanks..)**

**Ummmmmm, ya.........**

**So, I'l see you at the bottom!**

**I have to go and find something to say for this line!**

**This in bold message was brought to you by:**

**Morning Glory Dew**

**Runecloth for Guns Society**

**The Pink Kitten Cafe**

**Quantum Zombie Relocation Program**

**(Also its the next day again! Maybe after 120 hours they can get some sleep!)**

**DISCLIAMER:**** I do not own The Legend of Zelda or any of the other mentioned t.v./video game/movie franchises in any way shape or form!=/ (grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr mudkips!)**

**CHAPTER SIX! (NOOO!!!)**

"I'm bored." Zelda said.

"Well then do something!" Link yelled.

Malon was eating so much ice-cream she had no time to whine.

Princess Tamoir ran in with a very large calibur gun.

"Whef, good thing Starlll disposed of those KGB in a most unusual manner."

"Princess, your a boy, right?" Midna asked.

Princess Tamoir was about to jam a very large pike into Midna but stoped and said, "Yes.......its a very long story......though I do like the title.....sorda........"

"............."

"Just nevermind that."

"Do we anything to do today?" Saria asked.

"Meh.....we could resurrect Ilia, or......." He ran off and came back a minute later.

"LETS PLAY POKEMON SNAP!"

"WOOT!" Link screamed.

"HUZZAH!" Malon yelled.

"Pokemon Snap?" Zelda asked.

"Isn't that game a bit old?" Midna asked.

"ITS RETROTASTIC!" The Princess screamed.

"Are you random enough?" Saria asked.

"No! I'm not random enough at all!"

"Who is more random then you!?" Ruto asked.

"Many people! Like ~*Misty Dawn*~!"

"................."

"Lets just play Pokemon Snap!" Link yelled.

"Lets just poke Chuck Norris!" Telma screamed.

"Lets just kill the president of Cuba!" Solo screamed.

"Lets just have a Dragon Ball Z type battle!" Zelda yelled.

"Kay.... that sounds good!"

Zelda flew up into the air and screamed, "Pika Thunderbolt!"

A thunderbolt flew from zelda and hit Princess Tamoir.

"Thats it!" He yelled.

Tamoir flew up into the air and screamed, "Bakurikimaha!"

"Ki blast!"

"Chobakuretsumaha!"

"Chonoryoku!"

"Akkumaitokosen!"

"Shut up!" Ruto screamed.

"HEY! Pika Thunderbolt isn't from Dragon Ball Z!" Midna yelled.

"Cheater!" Saria yelled.

"HUZZAH! You can't beat the author of the story! I can't believe you challenged the authority of the author!" The Princess yelled.

"Lets play Pokemon Snap now!" Link yelled.

"Nah......... Lets play Soulcaliber...... IN REAL LIFE!" Princess Tamoir screamed.

"I call Talim's weapons!" Zelda yelled.

"I call Seung Mina's weapon!" Tamoir yelled.

Talim and Seung Mina spawned randomly.

"Hey get your gruby paws off my weapon!" Seung Mina yelled.

"Well exxccccuuussssssseeeeeeee me princess!" Tamoir yelled.

"Wait you are a princess... sorda...." Link said.

Talim and Seung Mina grabed their weapons and left.

"LETS GO TO A PARADE!" Goku screamed. (...wtf...)

"Goku! Get out of my fic! Your kind aren't welcome here!" The Princess yelled.

"Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...." Goku grrrrrrrrrrrrrred as he left.

"That is a pretty good idea........" Midna said.

Saria was walking over when she bumped into a big fleshy jumble of mudkip eating pizza! Or Malon.

"Ewwwwww, Malon, how did you gain so much weight!?" Saria asked.

"Plastic wrap." She anwsered.

"............"

"Kay.... Lets go to a parade!" Link said.

Princess Tamoir looked down at a sheet of paper and said, "The randomness parade is happening in fourteen minutes!"

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO ( is jello realy jello?)

Everyone was standing at the front of a large crowd.

"Which float is that?" Zelda asked pointing to a windmill mad of goldfish.

"Thats the Fishy Windmill float." Tamoir replied.

"What about that one?" Link asked pointing to a float with a giant Malon with hundreds of pikes sticking out of it.

"Thats the Death to Malon float."

"Wait, that is Malon!" Midna yelled.

Alas, it was.

"..............."

"Ok then......"

"And that one?" Saria asked pointing to a float with a giant top-hat full of Mudkips.

"The Squirtle Hat float."

"Why do they call it the squirtle hat? I mean its full of Mudkips!" Link said.

"Meh............ Why do they call Hitler evil?"

"Because he was!" Midna yelled.

"Shut up!" Princess Tamoir screamed.

"Has anyone seen that show Ax Men?" Link asked.

"Oh ya, that show is so stupid!" Tamoir said.

Zelda put on a hat randomly.

"Lets glomp Link." Midna said calmly.

All the girls glomped Link.

"What float is that?" Zelda asked pointing to a giant float with Chuck Norris and Whoopie Goldberg having a Dragon Ball Z battle.

"That float premotes the Uber Wrestling channel."

"You know that guy with the hat who sing like Darrel Sittler in the shower with a Lapras stuffed up his butt?" Link asked randomly.

"Oh ya, I know that guy!" Tamoir responded.

"....................."

"Lets get something to eat!" Zelda said.

"Ok!"

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO ( yadadadadadadadada)

Everyone except Malon, Ilia and Solo for some reason were sitting around in The Pink Kitten Cafe: Island Branch.

"This place is better then the one in Pirate Cove, eh?" Midna asked.

"Mhmmmmm"

Everyone ate some purple curly fries and drank some Coke brand Pepsi and got back on the boat.

"So sleepy randomly..." Link moaned.

"Well we haven't slept in way over 120 hours!" Zelda yelled.

Everyone fell asleep right then and there.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooo

**Yadadadadadad..... So how did you like this chapter!? Will Malon get off the float? Will Ilia be forgotten forever? Will Solo come back from the random place he was? Will I shut up? See ya next time!**

**Note: Hiya, This is Goku here and the Princess will have the next chapter up in a day or two!**


	7. Chapter 7

**LOL! I'm back! Grovel before me! (..just kidding!..)**

**So umm ya, should I write this chapter now?**

**Also, I hope everyone had happy holidays!**

**Thank ye to Starlll and PrincessStarberry for reviewing! (..I love you guys!..)**

**So ya, I will see ya at the bottom!**

**I need to go and throw some rubber tubes at people!**

**This in bold message was brought to you by:**

**Morning Glory Dew**

**Runecloth for Guns Society**

**The Pink Kitten Cafe**

**Quantum Zombie Relocation Program**

**Fishy Windmill Productions**

**(Also its the same night!)**

**DISCLIAMER:**** I do not own The Legend of Zelda or any of the other mentioned t.v./video game/movie franchises in any way shape or form!=/ (Grrrrrrrrr...)**

**CHAPTER SEVEN!!!! (FLEE IN TERROR!!!)**

Everyone was sleeping in a big heap on the floor.... All except Princess Tamoir!

Tamoir exploded into the room in an ultra violent explosion.

"WHY ARE YOU ALL SLEEPING!?" The Princess screamed.

Everyone on the floor screamed in pain from the loud noise.

"Oh right! You haven't slept in over 120 hours!"

"Don't you need to sleep!?" Link asked.

"I'm an author! Of course not!"

"Wait.... did you.... change genders!?" Midna yelled.

"Oh, that. Well, since i'm the author in pixel form, myself and I decided for the purposes of this story and many others, we are going to change the gender of the author's O.C to female!"

"..............."

"Its just that i'm female now!"

"................"

"That sounds wrong on so many levels!" Zelda yelled.

"You know, we are just a collection of pixels!"

"Just nevermind! The author's O.C. is now a girl!"

"Kay then............" Saria said.

"Anyway, we all have to say our New Years resolutions!" Tamoir yelled.

"Ok, I want to watch the premier of the new season of 24!" Malon boomed as she stuffed 453565 litters of ice-cream in her mouth.

"I want to kill Hannah Montana!" Midna yelled.

"I want to be more random, purple gorrila cannon!" Princess Tamoir said as she polished her Thermo Green Elephant Cannon version 2.4 beta.

"I want to kiss Link!" Zelda yelled.

"I want to be more noticed!" Saria said, no one listened.

"I want to find Solo!" Ruto yelled.

Solo walked in and said, "I want to feed some fishy fish!"

"YAY! I did it!" Ruto screamed.

"What about you Link?" Midna asked.

Link thought a moment and then said, "I want to get a girl friend!"

"GASP!!!!!!!" Everyone gasped.

"You do!?" The Princess asked shocked.

"And I think I have a pretty good idea of who it will be...." He said looking around.

"Well, we should work on our New Years Resolutions!" Ruto said.

"Kay!"

Everyone ran off in random directions, but realised that they are on a boat.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO (SAC OF MUDKIP EATING PIZZA BAGELS!)

The boat was docked in the pier of Wobuffet-in-the-mudkip-pizza-bagel Island.

Everyone was running around on the beach doing stuff.

"Hey Princess, is there a pet shop around here?" Solo asked.

She thought a moment and said, "Deep in the jungle, past Voodoo Rock, over Exploding Turtle Mountain, through Death Tunnel, across Poison Kitten Gorrila lake and around Wobuffet Convienience Store."

"......D.....A....M.......N......." Solo said slowly.

Over at the camp, Zelda was speaking with Midna.

"So, how should I kiss Link?" Zelda asked.

"Um....... I don't know!"

"Hmmmm.... I think I have an idea!" She said as she ran off.

Across the beach, a mitten factory exploded and mittens rained down on everyone.

It was raining mittens and Malon said, "Princess, how will I go about watching the premier of the new season of 24?"

She thought for a moment, then answered, "You will have to sail to the Lost Island of T.V. Premiers."

"Kay........"

Princess Tamoir walked over to the camp they had set up and screamed, "Everyone come here! NOW!"

Everyone went and stood infront of her.

"We're going to split up into parties and work on our New Years Resolutions."

"Solo, you and Link are going to go deep in the jungle, past Voodoo Rock, over Exploding Turtle Mountain, through Death Tunnel, across Poison Kitten Gorrila lake and around Wobuffet Convienience Store."

"Mhmmmmm."

"Kay."

"Can I come to!?" Zelda asked.

Tamoir thought a moment and then said, "I suppose."

"HUZZAH!" She yelled.

"Whatever, Malon and Midna will sail to the Lost Island of T.V. Premiers."

"Alright."

"Kay then."

"Oh, also Ruto will come with you."

"Ok."

"AND, Saria and I will stay here and bake Pizza Bagels."

"Deal."

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO (WAZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ)

"HOW LONG TILL WE GET TO VOODOO ROCK?" Zelda asked.

"Um....... Why are you talking in caps?" Solo asked.

"Oh... oops."

"Six hours still." Link said.

"Darn!"

Link, Zelda and Solo were walking through the jungle to get to the pet store and feed a fishy fish.

"Want to play a game?" Solo asked.

"Sure."

"Mmmmkay"

"Ok, I say the name of a city and you tell me something you would want to do if you were there."

"Ok."

Solo thought a moment, "Winnipeg."

"Kiss Link." Zelda said.

"Skate on Canada's longest ice "rink"." Link said.

"Kay..... Um........... Toronto."

"Yell at merchants." Link responded.

"Pet a Mudkip." Zelda answered.

"Castle Town."

"I live there!" Zelda said.

"Um...... Visit Zelda." Link said.

"Thats so sweet-" Solo was cut off when Zelda shot him in the gut with a randomly produced Green Elephant Cannon. Solo flew across the entire island.

"Oops........."

"Don't worry Zelda, and thanks..... sorda......" Link said.

"I suppose we should find Solo, eh?" Zelda said awkwardly.

"Ok........."

Just then a random pack of Mudkips ran toward them randomly an caried them off into a randomly selected location in the jungle that will be randomly selected.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo (WALK!!!!)

"Why didn't we just take the big oat?" Malon asked.

"Don't you mean big boat?" Midna said.

"No I mean the big oat. The one next to the camp."

"Because I can just ride on top of you as you float to our location."

"But, but, but...."

"Its cheaper this way!" Midna yelled.

"OK......"

"Hey, is that a landmine?" Midna asked pointing.

"But were not on land." Malon said.

"Meh...... Your right."

Just then there was a huge explosion and Malon went flying under water with Midna in tow.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO (KITTIES!!!!!1111111111)

**............ I thought this chapter was kind of lame.... It was more of a "plot" pusher...... Not that funny...... sigh........ Next one will be much much better. Also i'm so sorry for taking so long REALLY REALLY SORRY! (crys) Anyway, Will everyone do what they want do? Will Link and Zelda be ok? Will Midna and Malon be ok? Will Ilia be forgoten? Will Saria and I bake Pizza Bagels? Why are the natives of the island angry? Will the big oat come in handy? Will a box of special k be involved? FIND OUT NEXT TIME!!!!!!!!111111**

**Note: Hiya, Come to my spring! And buy Spacial K! Its like Special K but with a 3% larger death toll! For a total of 99% death! Also the Princess will have the next chapter up in a day or two!**


	8. Chapter 8

**YOWZAAA! Its been much to long! I am ever so sorry for taking so long again.**

**Uhhhhh, lets get right to it.**

**Thanks to Starlll and PrincessStarberry (You guys are the best!)**

**So i'l see you at the bottom.**

**I need to write this chapter.**

**This in bold message was brought to you by:**

**Morning Glory Dew**

**Runecloth for Guns Society**

**The Pink Kitten Cafe**

**Quantum Zombie Relocation Program**

**Fishy Windmill Productions**

**(Uhhhhh..... same day.)**

**DISCLIAMER:**** I do not own The Legend of Zelda or any of the other mentioned t.v./video game/movie franchises in any way shape or form!=/ (Grrrrrrrrr...)**

**CHAPTER EIGHT!!!!!!!!! FEAR IT!!!!!!!!**

"Are you fearing it enough?" Princess Tamoir asked.

"Why did you say that?" Saria asked.

"Look up."

"Ohhhhhh..."

"So, how long till the dough rises?" Saria asked another question.

"A couple hours."

"Kay then, just enough time to watch the premier of 24." Saria said happily.

"Wait, why did you send Malon and Midna to The Lost Island of T.V. Premiers? I mean you can watch it right here on this 363345 inch LCD T.V." Ruto said randomly.

"To make it more interesting." Tamoir responded.

"Wait, weren't you supposed to go with them?" Saria asked. (..Geez, she asks a lot of questions!)

"Well, about that......"

"Meh...... Its ok." The Princess said without a second glance.

"Hey, is that Goku?" Saria asked, pointing.

Princess Tamoir looked over, "GOKU! I TOLD YOU TO STAY OUT OF MY FIC!!!!!!"

"Well excccccuuuuuuuuuuuuuusssssseeeeeee me princess!" He whined.

Princess Tamoir removed a turret rifle from her belt and shot Goku in the head. That is in a melodramatic slow motion scene! (..Gotta love 'em..)

"Uhhhhhhhh..." Ruto said before puking.

"Well I guess we'll wait for the dough to rise...." Saria said absentmindedly.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO (Uhhhhhhhh...... Nothin to say.....)

"Link, please stop whining and begging for a hug." Zelda moaned.

"Its ok, we will just go to see the Resident Evil movie, and everyone will be OOOOKKKKK......" Link whined.

"Please stop being insane, I mean we've only been in here for 10 minutes!"

Link and Zelda had just been LinkandZeldanapped by a pack of enraged Mudkips and thrown into this hole/cell.

"Meow." Link and Zelda looked up to see a cute white kitten eating a pickle.

"Uhhhhhh, do we know you?" Link asked.

"Link, your talking to a kitten."

"Well maybe, its like, one of those Animal Crossing kittens." Link responded.

"Excuse me, why do you talk like i'm not even here?" The kitten blurted out.

"Uhhhhh...."

He continued, "Do you need some help?"

"Uhhhhhh, sure?" Zelda said awkwardly.

The kitten jumped down and did a matrix thing, teleporting them to a crashed zeplin.

"Uhhhhhh, what just happened?" Zelda asked after rubbing her head.

"Hello." An odd voice said.

"Wha?" Link asked.

Just then a man stepped forward, he was wearing a white robe.

"My name is Akitties, and that is my cat, Mittens."

"I am the pope of The-country-that-has-a-name-but-no-one-ever-uses-it." He continued.

"I see....."

"My zeplin crshed on this island."

"Uhhhhh...."

"My sister beat me in Super Smash Bros. Brawl."

"WILL YOU PLEASE SHUT THE FLIPPEN PURPLE SQUIRTLES UP!!!!!!!!" Zelda screamed.

"Uhhhh, where is your sister?" Link asked.

"She killed me."

"So your dead?" Zelda asked.

"No, I was just transformed into an Oscar."

"Ummm...."

"And some squirrles devored my pickle jar."

"............."

"And-" Akitties was cut off when Solo flew through the air and landed on Akitties.

"Hiya!" Solo yelled. "You shot me good, I was flying for a good 0.0000000000000000000000001 seconds!"

"Careful! You might start a paradox!" Link said.

Just then Mittens walked over and began licking Solo's face.

"I suppose we should head onward to the pet store." Zelda said.

"Yup."

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO (SUSHIMI!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Malon and Midna screamed like crazy as they shot through the water.

Just then the shot up through the sand and landed right next to the camp.

Princess Tamoir walked over and said, "What the fudgecicles happened here!?"

Zelda, Link and Solo walked out of the jungle at that moment.

"What happened? How did we get back here!?" Zelda screamed.

"ACK!" Saria screamed, everyone looked over to see a pack of ghost Mudkips wielding paradox guns!

"WE NEED TO GET OFF THIS ISLAND!" Tamoir yelled.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo (MITTEN PICKLES OF OUTERSPACE!)

Everyone was siting around in the living room, playing Super Smash Bros. Brawl.

Tamoir laughed, "Zelda, i'm beating you with yourself!"

Just then a mob of angry penguins came in and said, "We need a soda."

"Why do you all talk at the same time?" Saria asked.

Ashei came out carrying 69309340925079435 liters of Coke brand Pepsi and gave it to the penguins.

They all waddled out the door.

"That was weird......" Midna said.

"MORFROTHIM!!!!!!!!!!!!" Princess Tamoir yelled.

"Why did you yell that?" Malon asked.

"To celebrate my new title, Cheif Supreme Master Overlord Princess of Randomness!"

"....................."

"JOE TORY SHOT FLIPPER!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Telma yelled as she ran into the room.

"HE DID!?"

"NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"HE DIDN'T?"

"YES!"

"HE DID?"

"NO!"

"SO HE DIDN'T?"

"YES!"

"HE DID?"

"NO!"

"SO HE DIDN'T?"

"YES!"

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"OHHHHHHHHHHHH......."

"WHY ARE WE TALKING IN CAPS?" Zelda asked.

"I DON'T KNOW...." Midna said.

"LETS TURN THEM OFF." Tamoir said as she pulled the "Turn off Caps" switch.

"KK, thats better." Link said.

Just then a wild pack of Purple Squirrle Gorrilas came pounding in.

"THEY HAVE GOT FLOOD SPORES!" Saria screamed.

"Flood spores or smores?"

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo (END CHAPTER!)

**So how did you like it? I thought it could have been longer. Whats up with the Purple Squirrle Gorrilas? Will everyone be turned into Flood? Why was that island screwed up? Who is Joe Tory? FIND OUT NEXT TIME ON: LINKS VACATION!!!!!!! And guess what, Cheif Supreme Master Overlord Princess is my new title, in real life!**

**Note: This is Joe Tory here, I just want to say the Princess will have the next chapter up soon.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Princess Tamoir: *Reading Manga* *Looks up* Wow...... Uhhhh, who are you again?**

**Angry Readers: WE ARE THE PEOPLE WHO WANT YOU TO WRITE THIS FIC!!!!**

**Princess Tamoir: Ok..... I am really sorry folks, this chapter should have been done weeks ago. So without any more something....**

**This in bold message was brought to you by:**

**Morning Glory Dew**

**Runecloth for Guns Society**

**The Pink Kitten Cafe**

**Quantum Zombie Relocation Program**

**Fishy Windmill Productions**

**(Uhhhhh..... same day.)**

**DISCLIAMER:**** I do not own The Legend of Zelda or any of the other mentioned t.v./video game/movie franchises in any way shape or form!=/ (Grrrrrrrrr...)**

**CHAPTER 9 OF DEATH!!!!**

"WASABI!!!" Princess Tamoir screamed as she flew forward and exploded, blowing up all of the Green Gorilla Squirrels!

".........."

Link looked around, "Where did the Princess go?"

"I think she went all splodey." Malon boomed from high above the clouds, as she is very over weight.

All of a sudden the entire world ended in a passive implosion.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO (ITS ALL OVER!!!)

Everyone was floating around in an empty Pacman arcade...

"What happened just now?" Zelda asked.

"It appears to be the case of the world ending in a massive implosion." Midna explained.

"Ah."

"Is it just me, or does it seem very uncoventional for the entire universe to be compresed into a Pacman arcade?" Saria asked.

"Nope, its just you." Link replied.

Just then Princess Tamoir spawned randomly in the Pacman arcade.

"Anyone want Tim Hortons?" She asked.

"Meh..... Sure."

"Mkay."

"Mhmmm!"

"Fine by me."

"I'll have some."

Princess Tamoir handed out a coffee and a doughnut to everyone. "And, guess what, they're only $1.39!!!"

"Wow!" Link said excitedly.

"Do you want some money to pay for it?" Zelda asked.

"No thank you, I've got it covered."

"How?" Midna asked.

"With my loaded Quickpay Tim Card of course."

"Ah."

"So, what happened to the universe, and why are we in a Pacman arcade?" Link asked as he sipped his coffee.

"Well, the evil Geico gecko army has imploded the universe, and if we don't switch to Geico, they'll never put the universe back!" Tamoir explained.

"Well, whats so bad about switching to Geico?" Saria asked.

"Bah! How could you say such a thing!? Traitor!" Midna yelled.

Princess Tamoir continued, "If we switch to Geico, 15 minutes, could save us 15% or more on our car insurance!!!"

"GASP!"

"What horrible, horrible evil!" Link moaned.

"Wait........... Where's Solo!?" Ruto asked.

Just then Solo spawned. "I'm right here guys!"

"Oh..... There he is."

Solo continued, "You see, the author forgot I exsisted until just now, so now I'm here."

"Also, does anyone want pizza?"

"Sure!" Everyone yelled at the same time. (o.O)

Everyone got a slice of pizza from Solo. "And, guess what else!"

"What?" Midna asked.

"Its not delivery, its Delissio!"

"COOL!" Zelda screamed.

"We need to find out how to defeat the Geico geckos!" Link screamed.

"I have the perfect idea, lets visit to find out more!" Saria yelled.

Tamoir thought, "Of course, its so simple, why didn't I think of that!?"

Everyone ran over to a computer randomly floating through the Pacman arcade.

"According to , we need to destroy the core of Geico!" Princess Tamoir said.

"Well, how do we do that?" Link asked. (Is it just me, or does Link ask a lot of questions?)

"Well, it also says we will need to get out of this Pacman arcade..."

Midna jumped up, "I have the PERFECT idea!"

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO LESS THEN 2 MINUTES LATER......

Everyone gulped down a can of Red Bull, and after 2 seconds, they flew up through the roof of the arcade.

"That was a brilliant idea Midna!" Zelda complimented.

"Now, we only have to wait four hours as we float through nothingness and we will arrive at the Geico base."

FOUR HOURS OF FLOATING THROUGH SUB-SPACE LATER.........

"And, that concludes my veiw on current politics!"

"..........."

"Is anyone else really, really tired?" Link asked.

"No."

"I see..."

Just then the entire universe unimploded...

"Wow."

Everyone was standing around in Hyrule Castle.... Er McDonalds.......

"Lets go and get some sleep....." Zelda said.

"What just happened?" Midna asked.

"I think the author got really bored of writing this chapter and just wants to finnish it." Princess Tamoir answered.

"Ah."

"HOLY FLYING MITTENS THE ENDING OF THE CHAPTER IS COMING AT US LIKE A THOUSAND DOLLAR BILL!!!!" Zelda screamed.

The ending hit them and they went all splodey.

**-----------------------------------------**

**Sigh....... To tell you the truth.... I'm getting tired of writing this fic, and I'm out of ideas..... I might get some more soon.... Anywho, a matter of business, I notice a lot of people are favouriting this fic and putting it on alert, but they don't review. So i'd really like them to.... So, please review! *Falls asleep at the computer***


End file.
